December 2011
2 posts
Give a car to bone dragon for free, and you get a...
If you give bone dragon a reliable car for free, he will get you a hot meal, practically free! ($16.99 + $70) The meal is surprise flash green chink street chow beef with land browned gulf chew beef and rope chowder and mittens.
Where will you go, when the cold wind blow?
To the Apple Street Fart Shop you’ll go,
to the Fart Shop,
to the Fart Shop,
to the Fart Shop.
October 2011
1 post
Read...to shadow me on a pretty hectic day
purchased a Two-Bite Original brand 10.5 ounce box of coconut macaroons, a six pack of shrimp flavored Top ramen and three Maruchan oriental flavoreds.
September 2011
7 posts
I somtimes waste my own time. Now PLEASE, let me...
Victor E. Victor E, in the garden nook
Fig tree fig tree, farter book.
Victory victory, blower of the whistle
Mystery Mystery, super poop.
Randy Randy, husky and chunk
Candy apple………….souper poop.
Super poop-Super poop, winner at the fair
Souper poop-Souper poop, over dere.[dair]
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..
over dere.
Lend me your ear, and we will seize the day.
Write a poem, twice a day, in your head…
Never share the password for the treats.
Keep them safe, never tell, clock and bread…
Who’s stinky lowland biting goat?… “its Pete’s”.
So now, do you see why I glue, the socks, upon the cars?
It is for sashes, it is for logs, for sharts and farting stars.
authors note*
[take your time with this...
Poem of Truth and All
Winds flow forth, in times of drought, and flow the birds…
Games are played, like “Power Grapes” and “Da-Snow Bird Stirs”…
Math will be the order of the day…
(Chain + boat - hat) = (cloud + clay)
Maybe we can make a better world…
With curtains, lakes, dips, and gravy swirl…
Maybe we, can maybe overcome…
The really things, we...
The story of John Train
John Train had a problem. And he had tried everything…..met with people like Cindy, and her kids, and even sacrificed his job and his wife for his often dreamt of, ramble warehouse. Still, he could not balance his big box of glitter streamers in his red wagon without tipping when he’d go fast over bumps. it was for the party so he called ahead and explained his position to the...
Light the way, o' candle flay...
Light the way, o’ candle flay, burn the barn, use the hay. Keep me safe, out in the corn, where beans had bain, one year agorn. Now TO the dance, with hair a’shined, shoes a’ bitched…that poo’s NOT mine. Pick the cap, ‘can hold the most, overfill with tards and roast. Light the way, o’ candle flay, to the sea, south poopity bay. Light the way, o’...
I'm shutting down Bone Dragon*
I’ve decided to shut down bone dragon*. This is actually not a joke, i’m ending my account with tumblr. Its been really fun though. So this is my final post. I’ve come to an impasse, low forth quarter projections, and I’m thinking about a full service trumpet and carpet upstart courier service, (land based). So this is me, signing off. Wow…….its been great. I...
The BEST grade is a C-, not an A+
First, hold your horses. Collar your dog. When talking about a BEST grade, right then, put another log on the fire, cause we have to talk about what we mean by BEST or rather, BEHEST. How can you say A+ is beast grade when you have to go back-forth with running totals, stupid. With regards can an A+ be a rotation of banana rates, idiot? Was it not Johnny Dorothy who said,
“You can rope...
August 2011
1 post
bone tired
throw bone dragon a bone, bone dragon tired. maybe like, a large bone container filled with 11,000 in $20s. or like even like a few beers or i’d take a partial loaf, we ran out of bread here
June 2011
3 posts
Out in the country just rocking and rolling
Hey I’m out here in the country just rocking and rolling. I’ve been feeling the flow since yesterday and now rock and roll is my new bread, jam and power stew all rolled into one. I rock in the mornings roll in the day and rock and roll even when I bake rolls around sundown, so then i guess I’m rock and role. That’s called “word play”, and you can’t teach...
Gosh, I wonder
I don’t think there’s any question that animals vary in their degree of intelligence, even within a given species. This morning, after #2, I was wondering how smart the smartest ant in earths history really was. Smart enough to outwit a spider around the base of a can of pop by keeping on the opposite side, and then doubling back, like in tag? Or did the smartest deer ever shit on...
What do your elf eyes see?
So its easter sunday and you wanna make a gluten free chip dip for grandma and her coffee friends. Ohh horse shit! You only have peas, shrimp, slaw, toast and a handful of root vegetables. And milk. Don’t freak out, get creative you fuck! Put the peas in a blender put some slaw on the toast drain remaining slaw form pea mush burger patties squeeze the slaw dry boil the roots in milk combine...
May 2011
1 post
1st annual Horace Grant "Desk Days" coming to...
Gonna be a big show case this friday. Rumor is there a mahogany 2 toned and an oak tri-toned thats been constructed using multiple dowel woodworking joints. And of course, what would the day be without BarryTasters famous cabbage pie station and muck booth. And if we’re lucky, we just might get to see Grant do some baby hooks and fundamentals. DeskLand Desks will also have their new line of...
March 2011
1 post
Let me regale you with a tale all true
High on the mountain, and with great delight, there lived a little bitch puppy named Rimpamper. She was the funniest and cutest little puppy. “Tee tee tee” she would sing in the morning through the sprinkle flowers. Rimpamper had grown fond of the snake that lived in the flowers, named Ram Bottle. Ram Bottle would sing by the lillypads. He would sing, “catch the stinky jumping...
February 2011
3 posts
A most sincere, humble tone
I don’t mean to ask of you more than you can give. I would only ask that you try. I’m asking you to try to find meaning, in these words.
Put down your guns, put down your tools of war. Pick up that kindness hammer, pick up that sharing T-Square. Put down your Henry-Kabet printers, put down your clove and spice bowls. Pick up that soupy trash water, pick up that juniper berry. Put...
2 part Gin, 1 part honey...and... 2 part pony...
Did you check out my new mixed drink(LOL!) idea in the Title. Just a joke, not meant to offend. I love animals. Here’s what animals are to me: short horned lambs bleating and dropping dashes of shit, long-haired bunnies with rope legs and wooden feelers, raccoon trolls with sock teeth and feet for hair, and hindquarters big and bulky, overly large faces frothed up with suds, and animal music...
Dragon Bone Dragon Bone fighting for his life....
The animals are gathering, with knapsacks full of bark. To trade and barter in the village, for glitter and for parks. But bark is worthless dust to us, like a slew of rice on tin. Priced lower than a barrel of paste, and no more than a bin. So when the animals, come to our shops, like shopping little birds, fart the worst.
December 2010
1 post
now posting a new electronic text post
Can someone get me 15 barrels, big enough each to take up 2 parking spots? and frail enough in build that they crumble with the weight of a Sand Pipper. And can does anybody reading this know why a Kraft single will lay supine forever?
October 2010
1 post
Becoming Yergen
I have become Yergen. Where once I was Joel, now I am Yergen. Not in the traditional sense. I have soaked a whole half of wholewheat in wholesome browndrip. I am not yet Yergen. I have become Yergen.
Feliz Christmasdad,…
Fucking Feliz Christmasdad
June 2010
2 posts
ughhhh...the nerve of some people
Today this random guy on the street approached me, and then said to me “quamer loo Joel”. So I said “quamer loo ta you”. Then he spoke to this guy standing behind me “How… do you do?” But i butted in and answered anyway, i said “i’m doing real real good. Real good.” And then again he said to me, “leyben duben Joel” so I said...
Baxton, MO
Hello out there. Hi Phil. Summer’s just around the corner and If you’re like me, you are getting out summer clothes to wear cause its so uncomfortable to be sweaty and sticky. I’ve been hanging out and working in this little town called Baxton just north of Ranchtree, MO. I landed a sweet part time gig up here felting old farming combines with 65/40 hatch grease. With summer...
May 2010
1 post
How are you? I'm bine.
Hello. How are you? I’m bine. Today’s load was a full Saturday load. Swimming, dancing…savory meat. I’m finding it harder to connect with my readership. The analogy I’d use is: when you go up to the bar to buy 2 shots of brandy, and you want to order CLEARLY, LOUDLY, and with gain. But you don’t know why you move quickly to the bathroom, to the stalls and take...
April 2010
1 post
Malorganite
have you heard about Malorganite? If not, maybe you aren’t a powerhouse? Malorganite is sold by lawn care companys. I don’t know about it. I don’t understand the pros/cons. I CANT talk about it form experience. I’m not gonna sit here and have a debate with you. I’m going to go eat a glaze adored piece of broasted meat. I’ll broast it with fire and roast it with...
March 2010
1 post
Q and A
I’d love to try out a Q and A session with my readers. Where are your cherry cordials? Don’t answer my questions please. Don’t post answers please. I’d like to see if we can get some reader participation and quamer loo. Have you ever even heard of a guy named Charles Dioxide? Does that make sense? Please don’t paredo. Does when do you grow good food for the...
February 2010
1 post
broom and hammer races
Hilly billy put a broom in-to his box.
Blueblanks bippity boppity noner.
Trod foolen-heim sales tax.
I’ll fight anyone who challenges me…quamer loo.
January 2010
2 posts
how to cheat at your family game night
to cheat at a family game night is easy, people are unsuspecting and at ease. they might have snacks out or a bowl of m and m’s, it’s all part of equation. they love you, and would NEVER think that you might tip the odds in your favor-THAT, is why you can, and this is why you will: reputation. Winners beget winning reputations. Winners get the whole glaze adorned ham. Winners get the...
Bo-bo,
Bo-bo boo-boo
boo-boo
December 2009
4 posts
Here's what you do when the time comes...
First……….you spin…….. Then grab… Mahoney by her hoof hair, hoof wise. Then put a spinner with its cobb side down LOOK AROUND! Don’t fray the sauce edges, don’t loop the flap, don’t squeeze floppy boon, don’t sing the youbee fuck. Don’t-fucking-...
What is it, "to be bold"?
Is “to be bold” being fun person with pockets? Or is being bold doing hard push-ups? Does being bold mean to wash your bleeding face cuts?… is bold hot water pipes? Do we bold? Is a bold being sideways with counter weights? “Bold!” said the lady, bold! and also “stinky ugly child” said the lady. “Stinky ugly child”
A serious post about real issues for a change
I’ve written so much nonsense lately and decided today i should write something with substance for a change. I’ve decided to write on one aspect of the human condition. I’ve decided its time to give my piece. Today, in our modern world, quamer loo. Pardo loo burn. Snorky shandle sherry cherry morty mundle merry berry. In my first prize box hides a rat, in my other, a little bat....
Higgen's
Higgen’s beets have lord barly feet. Shandren capped off ranly salt. 128 Lbs of tokens. 200+ lbs of assorted beans. 660 ft. lbs. of torque at the rear wheels. Heel draw, pass the jiw bread. Roggit o wow! yeah. Where will I hurt when my pants are covered in glue? Fifty times fifty plus fuck you. Borne andro hill climb.
Move and swerve…lift and clutch…roll…breath, let out...
November 2009
5 posts
wholemade fruit berries
You will recieve 3 systems for every order you purchase. You will not get the soft shell case. You will not get the matching tote bag. You will not get the personalized graphic logo. You will not be honored. With purchase you will get the solid iron digging rod. You will get the wooden ramp. You will get the child harness. You will NOT get the matching tote bag. You will get the digging rod. You...
world wide web lazer beems
Has anyone else had to deal with these lazer beems on the world wide web-i’m calling on all of my readership to take action and yesterday i went grocery shopping with my parents i got three kinds of peppers and we got egg nog and dave and mark peed on the side of my house at night but i OKed it first.
also…
…this billy goat has three names…(pause)
…its Bon and Ron...
favorite new triangle
hello to all my readers. great day to my readership and suprise, value thirst! this bird has wings and can fly on that note, today i valued a whole chocolate chip scone for my self i adjusted and then purchased. Jen took a bite and lessened my property then jared wanted a bit but i had to draw the line. i dumped out thte water from the stinky house we stayed in and got water from the 22L water...
Bone Dragon
Today i saw a hawk flap its wings after my friend Dave, and Mark kind of, said they barely or something ever flap there wings. Dave claimed it just tilted but to me it flapped a bit. I don’t know what to think the hawk thing wasn’t a big deal i guess. it may have been a turkey vulture. We are at epoch coffee builders. there are many regulars here its colder outside then it is inside....